Partnership in Progress
by e.sakano
Summary: A series of drabblets concentrated on Shinogu and Hatsumi. Drabblet 3.
1. Chapter 1

Childhood

It was just a gentle brush of his lips against her skin, but it burned. Not literally, hardly literally, just in a way she had never before experienced.

There shouldn't be anything there, anyway. It wasn't like she had never risen on her toes to brush a gentle kiss on his cheek before; it was just a slightly more personal goodbye that she had fallen into the habit of using. It could be no different, right? Besides, Hatsumi could hardly remember when she'd started the little ritual; maybe when she was five, or six?

_"Hatsumi! What was that for?"_

_She giggled-he looked so funny when he was all red like that._

_"Well, if I marry Shinogu, then I have to treat him like mom treats dad, right?"_

But he had never returned her gestures before, and she couldn't understand her own feelings. Her heart beating wildly, the first year raised a hand to her tingling cheek, a giddy smile crossing her face. As quickly as her expression lightened, though, it fell.

She could not do this.

Shinogu was her brother, she can't love him.

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_121205_


	2. Chapter 2

_4 April xxx_

Dear Diary,

I'm so glad I'd decided that it's past time to throw you in the incinerator, that gives me the freedom to write anything I wish. Like, I pranked dad last New Year, Akane talked me into buying some lacy, see-through lingerie, and that I am in love with Shinogu.

Oh God, I can't believe I actually wrote it. I know, sick, isn't it? Having a "crush" on my own brother... Except that it feels like so much more than what I'd felt for Suoh-kun last year. Maybe even more than what thinking of Azusa does to me..

I miss Azusa, he could always make things better when I couldn't go to Shinogu. Maybe he'd even manage to find a way to make it okay.

But, I'm just Hatsumi, and all I can think to do is forget about this. Forget about my feelings, explain my red eyes with those damn (lucky) entrance exams, and then become the perfect little sister.

If I forget, it'll all be okay, right?

Hatsumi.

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	3. Chapter 3

Consequences

There are still a few days where he wakes up hating himself desperately. In those few days, he finds himself trying to hate Hatsumi.

Not that it ever works; he could never hate Hatsumi. He used to hate himself for that, but now he just accepts it for fact. He's loved Hatsumi since her first innocent smile, so it was relatively easy to accept that he'd never really be able to seek revenge. (If he had targeted Akane, the story would have ended very differently.)

He doesn't deserve her. He has no rights to the innocent smile that now only comes out for Shinogu and Ryoki. (The same smile he had once had exclusive rights to for so short a time he finds himself hating his mother's lover with an emotion so deep it frightens him.)

But if he can't have her, he can at least make her happy.

He can't find happiness for her in Ryoki. He sees more misery than happiness in that future, and a learned patience he resented in his own mother.

He wants passion for her, and a tenderness so deep that it might make up for his loss.

Azusa does not hesitate to push Shinogu.

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_060106_


	4. Chapter 4

Reality Shock

He's not her biological brother.

There's something important that too much of her wants to remember, but she bypasses it with long practice, burying it easily beneath the shock of the discovery. Her heart is pounding with the news, but she does not allow herself to notice; she'll blame it all on Ryoki, or something.

Hiding from herself has become Hatsumi's defense mechanism, and even if Azusa still knows her better than she knows herself, as long as she keeps herself fooled...

She'll give to Ryoki until she's forced back into reality.

"Hatsumi... Do you want to come live with me?"

Somehow she just knows Azusa will rub it in later.

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_131205_

_  
_Uh, yeah, so this has been on my harddrive for ages... I totally forgot about it, actually--I have other ficlets, but I'm too lazy to transcribe them from my notebooks, but they'll come up sooner or later, if anyone's interested.


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